Vulnerability Opens the Door to Possibilities

This week’s topic for my 7 Week Resiliency Workshop was vulnerability. After working on myself daily together with the participants for one week, I feel the huge impact on my life. I learned that being courageous enough to be vulnerable and face your true self opens the door to many possibilities.

What happened to me in the past week was…

First of all, I was told that I had to make a recorded plenary speech for KOTESOL National Conference 2020 where I was invited to speak as a plenary speaker. Originally, of course, I was going to go to the venue in Masan-city, and offer the speech in person. However, because of the coronavirus pandemic, the conference organizers had decided they would make the conference virtual. I said, Sure! No problem! I’ve done online sessions many times, so I feel comfortable doing webinars or online sessions.

However, it is RECORDED video. After I told them yes and was getting ready to make a video, my fear creeped in. I hear my fear talking to me:

Hey, your strength is making the speech interactive. You interact with the audience, you facilitate and let audience interact with each other. Then you connect their responses to your message. BUT, YOU WON”T BE ABLE TO DO IT IF THE SPEECH IS RECORDED!!!

Then i was like “oh no! What should I do! I can’t use my strength. Maybe it won’t be a good video. I’m the plenary speaker. I can’t deliver a bad speeh!”

I had lots of thoughts around me. Thinking about the past, thinking about the future. So, I practiced mindfulness, and focued on now. I did my best to find courage in me and change the perspective. THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY GIVEN. Who knows? After doing this recorded video, this might become your new strength!

So, I did let go of worries, and just faced the fear and just did the recording. The first day, it took three hours to shoot. I didn’t quite like the video, so I tried for the second time two days later and spend two hours more. Whew, it was such a work to speak to a camera when you cannot see people’s reactions! It was so nerve-wrecking that I needed a lot of sugar and caffeine lol This is the little video clip made after I was done with the plenary video shoot.

But, the interesting is… after facing the fear and going though the whole process, I felt so accomplished. I felt comfortable just being myself and I felt proud of myself. And most of all, I found video making so fun!!! This lead to open my YouTube channel and make my first YouTube video!

This is all thanks to my Resiliency Workshop members who are being authentic and working on their vulnerability. They inspired me to face my fear and accept myself. Now, I am enjoying video recording, and I feel that there are limitless possibilities in front of me!