Spiritual Sunday.
I thought about my son’s death. Why did he have to die? (My son died after 4 years of fighting the cancer in November, 2019. ) What does it mean to us, the family? What does it mean to me?
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I am blessed that I have many friends who empathically listen to me.
Since I lost my first son Tyler last November, I cannot appreciate more for the people who have held space for me just to let me be myself. I can express myself by talking or not talking, being frustrated and angry, or just being sad and cry.
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I have weakness. I get hurt. In order to protect myself, I have been working on my resiliency, self-care and self-love, but I still get hurt. It had been a while since I got hurt really bad last time I think. I’ve been doing a great job since then. But, recently, I got hurt. It’s not a major one. It was a little pain. But it still hurt.
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One month has already gone this year, and it’s my first blog post this year.
My key words for this year are Resiliency, Self-love Self-care, and Unfu*kwithable.
Resiliency: I thought it’s important for me to come back up when I feel miserable and disappointed at myself when I make same old mistakes. It’s okay to make mistakes. Just come back and move forward again.
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As 2019 is almost over, I want to review my 2019 New Year’s resolution.
Be a Badass Woman! (Vulnerably):
I said “I want to continue my journey to strengthening the ability to draw healthy boundaries.” I give myself 7 out of 10 on this. I was able to do it sometimes. And sometimes I couldn’t draw boundaries. But overall, I put efforts and I feel good about what I did.